Worse than Cancer?

It was a solemn moment when my Gong Gong asked his daughter, two weeks after the event, "Did I almost die?"

"You almost died twice", came the reply. Gong Gong nods his head slowly, as a small explosion set off inside him. It's not just shocking to find out you almost fell off a cliff. It's shocking to find out you were actually standing on a cliff in the first place.

His last admission to hospital lasted 14 days (10 of which were spent intubated in ICU and involved a surgical drain of 1.2L of fluid from his pericardium). But just before to that admission, Gong Gong had gone to the hospital twice wanting treatment. Twice, the doctors turned him away because they couldn't find a cause of his symptoms. They couldn't see how close Gong Gong was to the edge of the cliff.

They had lots of trouble diagnosing him. We longed for a diagnosis. It was obvious that something was wrong, but it's terrible not knowing what that was. No diagnosis meant we were in limbo and couldn't pursue the course of treatment. The enemy is unknown.

Today, only days after being discharged, Gong Gong was readmitted to ICU with different symptoms. Doctors are still unsure what has caused his latest troubles. (Stroke? Pulmonary oedema? Decompensated heart? Malfunctioning heart valve?) Getting a diagnosis is a tricky business. The window to really fix the problem is closing and there's the unpleasant business of dealing with each new presentation. We would really appreciate some prayers.

But this post isn't really about Gong Gong, his treatment or his cardiologist, but about diagnosis.


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Imagine the worse disease ever. (Cancer? HIV/AIDS? Flesh eating bacteria?) Now imagine having that disease. What's worse than having that disease?

What's worse than having that disease is not knowing that you have that disease. No diagnosis. This means not being able to seek the right course of treatment. It's not understanding how the disease may develop. It's not knowing you need help. It's not knowing that you are about to fall off the cliff, teetering on the edge.


... I think Christians and non-Christians often have difficulty with "judgment" (here, I mean telling others about sin, about God's "capital-J Judgment" which finally condemns sin like a judge's court final pronouncements and about hell. Perhaps you have read one of the many judgment passages in the Bible, which point out how people don't live God's good way.).

Everyone sins but no one likes that pointed out to them. No one should take pleasure in saying a message of judgment to someone else. And no one enjoys being on the receiving end. It's all an unpleasant business.

But is the "judgment" a bad thing in itself? No, judgment is merely the diagnosis. It identifies the problem. This is the bad thing. Sin is the personal cancer that robs people of life. Sin is the debilitating illness and painful ailment. Sin ends in a horrible death, without fail. It's chronic and terminal. Sin is the worse problem imaginable.

Judgment is the diagnosis; it points out sin. If Christians see the sin and but do not acknowledge it, they are like doctors who withhold the diagnosis. Who sends sick people home with a clean bill of health. Who impedes treatment and healing. Who fails to warn patients of grave danger. This doctor is not only negligent, but contributes to the death of sick people. The silence is not kind but cruel.

Now, sin is the disease and judgment is the diagnosis. But the remedy is grace. In Jesus, people can have grace for free, the full strength and full spectrum remedy. It's the only remedy for sin and death. God's grace is the cure that he freely offers to people who acknowledge their sin. But...

If there is no diagnosis of disease, there is no remedy. Just death.
If there is no judgment of sin, there is no grace. Just death.

Doctors may not like breaking bad news to people. But not telling them is worse. They will miss out on the treatment they need to live.

Super Gong Gong

Growing up, my Gong Gong (my Mum's Dad) seemed invincible. Now, I've observed him all my life and have come to suspect that he is, in fact, a Superhero. Here are a few clues:


Always looks the same

Gong Gong's wardrobe is perennial. He's always in the same outfit, immaculate and wrinkle free. In block colours, black, white, grey.

Gong Gong has always had exactly the same Clark Kent hair. Jet black. Not a hair out of place.


Standard one-liners

Whenever I'd ask him how he was, he'd say, "Ho! I fought off 7 tigers today!". Gong Gong's standard greeting is "Hello Sing Sarng, Singapore!" (less superheroic, but a classic one-liner, nevertheless.)


Superhuman strength & movement

Gong Gong is built and shaped like He-Man. His muscles were the density of thick linoleum. I used to give him massages, but my puny fingers were no match for his solid trapeziums. They couldn't even make a dent.

He is lightning fast with the abacus, faster than my Dad's super maths brain and me on a calculator. *Click Click Click*!

In Tai Chi, Gong Gong defies gravity! He can hold, balance and maneuver his full weight calmly, slowly, effortlessly, agilely and gracefully, at impossible angles.


Super powers

It's incredible that Gong Gong never had an education, but taught himself how to read Chinese characters by reading newspapers. Being really thrifty, he didn't buy newspapers, but read over people's shoulders, or picked up discarded editions. A few years ago, he learned English in his 70s, to pass his US citizenship's test. This probably means he has learned his village dialect, Khmer, Cantonese and English.

Gong Gong's throat must be made out of cast-iron because he can drain a bowl of piping hot congee (rice porridge) in two goes.

Olives to Gong Gong, is what Spinach is to Pop-eye. Gong Gong likes the Asian variety, where you'd chew the olive and spit out the fibres.

Gong Gong also has the uncanny ability to be able to sleep any where.

When his six children were young, Gong Gong also worked three jobs to save money to help his family flee the arch-villain, Pol Pot. Incredible!

Both my Gong Gong and Mama overcame adversity in extraordinary ways, but we'll save those miraculous stories for another episode.


Protector of the vulnerable & innocent

Whenever us kids got into trouble (often), he would stand in front of us, facing the oppressor of our efforts. His defense always came swiftly. We wouldn't even have to call out "Rescue me, Gong Gong!!", and he would come to our aid. It was one of the rare occasions when the gentle giant would raise his voice in conflict. And suddenly, our despair and humiliation would turn into joy and triumph, safely hiding behind this immovable mass. Go get 'em, Gong Gong!


Timely arrival

Gong Gong would be able to find the time to look after us for long hours on Sunday afternoon, when the parentals were in meetings. Gong Gong'd pick us up from choirs, always ready and waiting, chewing on some olives and reading a newspaper. Basically, he's always there when you need him!

If there ever was a Superhero to come out of his home town, it would be my Gong Gong. But when my sister last visited my grandparents in June, she observed that he was literally about half his size, gaunt and weakened by years of cardiac complications. A few steps would take away Gong Gong's breath...

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This post has been sitting in my "ideas" box since my sister's visit. And this morning we heard that Gong Gong is in ICU. If he doesn't wake up within 24 hours, he may never. His heart may have failed him for the last time.

Not sure how this episode is going to end and this cliffhanger has made me bawl. But I'm so glad that Gong Gong has a living hope (rare for a man in his generation). And that Jesus, the true and Immortal Saviour, is good for his word.

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.

~ Phil 3:20-21

A Kingdom Wedding

Photography by Esther T.

Carol married Pete this morning!

There were moments of gold. Like when Pete looked at nothing but the face of his bride. And how Carol smiled excitedly the whole time, looking back at the church to take it all in and commenting to Pete. Like when the pray-er said that it's a special wedding because "it's a kingdom wedding" and "in their oneness, may they serve Christ". Like when the minister started to say the vows, "Do you take Carol..." and Pete, in eagerness, came in too early with "with God's strength I will" which made Carol burst out laughing, slapping her thigh. Everyone laughed, too. They were clearly enjoying themselves. As soon as they walked up the aisle, I broke out into a little dance. A friend said later that they felt like they ought to be dancing (perhaps everyone finds the Beatley beats of "the Ancients" irresistible).

Two impressions were made:

Death

The non-Christians' ears must clang as the word "Death" enters a wedding service. But all through the service the Christians kept talking about how their marriage was only possible because of the death of Jesus. Oh, so true. What a wonderful death, which makes people alive and able to love.

Something else deathly ~ How do you get to The Ultimate Wedding? (Read the synopsis here.) Well, first you die. And after that, you walk down as a bejewelled bride towards the eternal King, to live together in paradise. But that's only if you want to commit your life to Jesus that way. I do... If you are going to be my obituarist, please don't say, "Honoria has gone to a better place", but "Honoria is at her wedding. So don't be sad for her sake."

(I'm trying to panel beat this thought into good shape:)
Jesus dies to have a glorious marriage to his bride, the church. We follow Jesus in death so we can take part in that glorious marriage. Jesus proposes, "come die with me and come live with me".


(It's quite natural if you don't get it because you're not a Christian. I'd be happy to tell you about the joy.)


Best

How lovely and special to give your best to another human being*! Or to be honored as a recipient of someone else's best. Your best isn't to be spent on your work or your friends, but given to the one with whom you share a "oneness". The best of your affections and time, the best of your gifts and personality, of your sexuality and intimacy... Wow.


Congratulations and blessings to you, Pete & Carol!




*of course, there's no one higher than Christ. So he deserves your all and your best. I'm just talking about the first human after your devotion to Christ... y'know what I mean.

Dying well

Eliz spoke at her mother's memorial service a few weeks ago. After a very long battle with cancer, June died well. Eliz's thanksgiving speech is a glowing example of doctrine being the most amazing comfort.

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She was very very ill and in hospital for 10 days. One day as I was sitting beside her bed she said, "I worry that when I get to heaven Jesus will be disappointed with me."

I looked at her and said, "No! That is simply not possible!"

I moved and sat on the bed with her and held both her hands and looked her in the eye. I said, "You will be absolutely perfect."

She wasn't convinced. I said, "Mum, You will be as perfect as Christ's work on the cross. If there was to be anything about you that God could find disappointing, then Christ's redeeming work and his offering of his blood for your sins was not sufficient. But we know that Christ's sacrifice was sufficient because God raised him from the dead and exalted him in heaven. You are IN Christ, so you will be as perfect as Christ's work on the cross was perfect!"

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How wonderful! Christ's perfection, death and resurrection is of critical importance at the most important time. What a glorious application of a doctrine often overlooked, being "in Christ".

Eliz closes by saying:

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So it is amazing what you see when your eyes are open -- God's hand held mum's through everything - he never let her go - and she was fully aware of it.

And then, in the early hours of Sunday morning, that hand of God scooped her up. June is glorified --absent from the body but present with the Lord (Paul: 2 Corinthians 5:8) - in heaven with her Saviour and saints from every tribe, language people and nation - where there is no sickness or suffering or sin or heartache or tears - all because of the everlasting love of God, cross of Jesus Christ and the resurrecting power of the Holy Spirit.

Let's pray:

We give thanks to God the Father who chose June in love before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless before him.

We give thanks to to God the Son, Jesus Christ who redeemed June and gave his body to be broken for her, and poured out his blood for her so that all her sins could be forgiven and she could be united to Christ and filled with the Holy Spirit.

We give thanks to God the Holy Spirit who faithfully ministered to June, empowered her through her life, sustained her in her death, and now has raised her to be with God.

We give thanks to God for his everlasting love, mercy and faithfulness - for the way he ministered to June by his Spirit to her heart and mind, and through his appointed servants at every turn.

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

~ Lamentations 3:22-23, ESV

Amen.