Worse than Cancer?

It was a solemn moment when my Gong Gong asked his daughter, two weeks after the event, "Did I almost die?"

"You almost died twice", came the reply. Gong Gong nods his head slowly, as a small explosion set off inside him. It's not just shocking to find out you almost fell off a cliff. It's shocking to find out you were actually standing on a cliff in the first place.

His last admission to hospital lasted 14 days (10 of which were spent intubated in ICU and involved a surgical drain of 1.2L of fluid from his pericardium). But just before to that admission, Gong Gong had gone to the hospital twice wanting treatment. Twice, the doctors turned him away because they couldn't find a cause of his symptoms. They couldn't see how close Gong Gong was to the edge of the cliff.

They had lots of trouble diagnosing him. We longed for a diagnosis. It was obvious that something was wrong, but it's terrible not knowing what that was. No diagnosis meant we were in limbo and couldn't pursue the course of treatment. The enemy is unknown.

Today, only days after being discharged, Gong Gong was readmitted to ICU with different symptoms. Doctors are still unsure what has caused his latest troubles. (Stroke? Pulmonary oedema? Decompensated heart? Malfunctioning heart valve?) Getting a diagnosis is a tricky business. The window to really fix the problem is closing and there's the unpleasant business of dealing with each new presentation. We would really appreciate some prayers.

But this post isn't really about Gong Gong, his treatment or his cardiologist, but about diagnosis.


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Imagine the worse disease ever. (Cancer? HIV/AIDS? Flesh eating bacteria?) Now imagine having that disease. What's worse than having that disease?

What's worse than having that disease is not knowing that you have that disease. No diagnosis. This means not being able to seek the right course of treatment. It's not understanding how the disease may develop. It's not knowing you need help. It's not knowing that you are about to fall off the cliff, teetering on the edge.


... I think Christians and non-Christians often have difficulty with "judgment" (here, I mean telling others about sin, about God's "capital-J Judgment" which finally condemns sin like a judge's court final pronouncements and about hell. Perhaps you have read one of the many judgment passages in the Bible, which point out how people don't live God's good way.).

Everyone sins but no one likes that pointed out to them. No one should take pleasure in saying a message of judgment to someone else. And no one enjoys being on the receiving end. It's all an unpleasant business.

But is the "judgment" a bad thing in itself? No, judgment is merely the diagnosis. It identifies the problem. This is the bad thing. Sin is the personal cancer that robs people of life. Sin is the debilitating illness and painful ailment. Sin ends in a horrible death, without fail. It's chronic and terminal. Sin is the worse problem imaginable.

Judgment is the diagnosis; it points out sin. If Christians see the sin and but do not acknowledge it, they are like doctors who withhold the diagnosis. Who sends sick people home with a clean bill of health. Who impedes treatment and healing. Who fails to warn patients of grave danger. This doctor is not only negligent, but contributes to the death of sick people. The silence is not kind but cruel.

Now, sin is the disease and judgment is the diagnosis. But the remedy is grace. In Jesus, people can have grace for free, the full strength and full spectrum remedy. It's the only remedy for sin and death. God's grace is the cure that he freely offers to people who acknowledge their sin. But...

If there is no diagnosis of disease, there is no remedy. Just death.
If there is no judgment of sin, there is no grace. Just death.

Doctors may not like breaking bad news to people. But not telling them is worse. They will miss out on the treatment they need to live.

Grace to the Self-Centred

If a person persists in being manipulative, abusive and destructive, how do we love them in a way that honors God? What does it mean to show grace to such a person? These are not rhetorical questions. I would love your input.

God hates sin, went to a lot of trouble to get us out of trouble and helps us escape his condemnation. Shouldn't we then be in one accord, keeping the Judgment Day in mind?

Give them chances to change
Repentance starts with identifying a problem. That may mean "having words" with them, which may not be a pleasant conversation (see Nehemiah's acts of 'persuasion'.) In Ezekiel 3, if the prophet failed to warn the wicked, God will hold him accountable for their blood.

It may (or may not) mean seeing them through the phases of acceptance / denial, working through the problem and relapse.

Offering other means of help (counseling, changes in lifestyle).

Remind them of the Day of Judgment, and help them work out whether they are storing up wrath or good works in heaven on their current course.


Take away chances for them to do more damage
Ultimately, one's actions are not anyone else's responsibility but one's own.

But you could help them by setting up appropriate boundaries with the person to help them act on that responsibility. (I saw an ad for self-defense once: "Learn how to stop your brother from sinning against you!")

It may also mean limiting harm done to others (tricky...)

Both of these might stop them incurring more of God's condemnation.


Do not sin yourself
It's easy to act like a victim if you feel victimised. It's easy to slander, to be bitter, to hate, to take revenge. But vengeance is the Lord's.


Ephesians 4:26-27 (ESV) says this about putting away falsehood and speaking truth, "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil."

See that? Be angry. It's a command (The NIV is obscures the command, by rendering it incidental: "In your anger..."). It's ok to get angry, especially at sin.* It's not ok to sin yourself.


Wait for God
Commit the person to prayer to recognise that it's all God's work. The only agent that can effect change is the powerful spirit of God, who awakens consciences, pierces hearts, humbles, grieves people for their sinfulness.

He is in control. He know what they were like before you did. He is in the spheres of their life that you have no access to. Plus, he is more powerful and cares more about this whole thing than any human.

He sees and remembers everything. And in the end he will reward each of us for our folly or wisdom.


That's all I got. Ideas?


* My friend who worked in Child Protection for 7 years says that getting angry is a good response to child abuse. She says the day that social workers stop getting angry is the day they should get out of the job. (7 years! What stamina)

Thinking about Hell is edifying

My friends tilt their heads and give a vacant expression when I make the above statement. So I thought I'd write a little blah about how an thinking about hell could be edifying. I also wanted to reassure you that I don't think about hell because I'm morbid, sadistic or generally hate people.

But thinking about hell tells you a lot about God.

- he is holy.

- he means what he says (promises to condemn sin and make retribution for wrongs)

- he hates sin (hell shows how bad sin is to God. Hell is a terrible, awful, fearful... and it's the punishment that fits the crime. Since sin is eternally offensive to God, hell is an eternal punishment.)

- he is loving, in wanting to punish the wrongdoers who have hurt his people

- he is loving, so it's appropriate that he is angry at his children who have gone bad. (The more a father loves his children, the more he hates in him the drunkard, the abuser, the gambler.)

- he's really restraint in not "giving it to us" as soon as we deserve it.

- he's really generous in giving people on this death row life, relationships, taste buds, sunshine, opportunities, music, fun.

- he is really gracious in offering us an out when we really deserve something so terrible.

- his graciously and sternly warns people who are just rolling down the hill towards hell.

- he has graciously given us time to turn back to him in this life.

- his son took our punishment for us (still not exactly sure how this works)

- what Jesus bore on the cross for us was wrath, and such great wrath for the sins of the whole world (Rev 14). He drank the cup of wrath - not just one person's share, but everyone's.

- he loves and welcomes the repentant into his family when they really deserve hell!

In the Scriptures we find a God who dignifies our lives by caring enough to be angry at our rebellion and destrive choices, yet meets our desperate need with kindness and compassion. God will not allow evil to triumph...

~ from Gibbo's chapter, "Lactantius on Anger" from Consolations of Theology, 2008.

Isn't our Father gracious, good, more than fair, loving, powerful, amazing?? Isn't his gospel glorious?? Isn't his Son ... ?!?!?!?!

Two friends said, "If people really understood how much God loves them and the lengths he'll go to to have them, they'd be Christian".