Tuesday, 29 April 2008

Porn for Women

I stole the title of this blog from the photographic book by Susan Andersen (don't google the title - Covenant Eyes will getcha!)

Keith preached on Ps 101 in Chapel today, about living the ideals of a blameless life. In true Keith fashion, he made incisive comments about men and women, starting with the eyes.

It's quite natural for men to be fascinated with form and physicality of women. Sometimes the "vile thing" before our eyes (v3) is beauty. In other words, sin often looks beautiful and attractive. Eve's apple and David's Bethsheba both looked pretty good. And beauty and its appreciation aren't inherently sinful, but anything good can be perverted to be something evil.

Even though he, along with everyone else, is "over" the whole internet pornography thing, he said it would be remiss of him to pass over it when dealing with sins of the eyes.

So what about women?

Keith remarked that women can also have "a haughty eye and a proud heart" in their internet use. This includes:

- prying into people's lives (e.g. insatiably searching through cavernous Facebook)
- projecting a desirable (and fake) image of themselves on a webpage

At the root of this is covetousness, jealousy, rivalry, deceit and one-up-man-ship (one-up-woman-ship).

My friend has been putting off Facebook for sometime, because she didn't want to make an e-shrine of herself. Not only is projecting a positive image a temptation, but envy of others can also ensnare her. I've been trying to sell FB to her, saying that she doesn't have to fall into that trap, and there are many social advantages, yadda yadda yadda... But perhaps she knows what is good for her and I should let her conscience direct her actions. My friend thinks that she'll probably be ok dealing with Facebook, but isn't that the beginning of being sucked in? Doesn't everyone think they are immune?

It's been said that men might fantasize about the physical attributes of women. And women just fantasize (daydream about the perfect man, a certain situation, how conversations might go, make negative comparison between real people and fictional characters: "Darcy would never have done that..." or any form of romanticising reality).

I guess the e-pitfalls for women are a little less apparent, a little more respectable but just as binding and insidious.

Near the end of the sermon, Keith gave this exhortation (via Piper): it's not the fact of the pornography or perversion of sex that's sad. But what's sad is Satan using it to disqualify us for service, laying a huge burden of guilt on us that we are unable to carry out ministry. We are Christians are to take our sin seriously, but remember that Jesus' yoke is light.

As I was absorbing all this, I thought about the purpose of this blog. I don't feel the need to keep a diary, public or private. I post to reveal the world of theological training to others. So this blog isn't a representative sample of the contents of my head in electronic form. It's just the ideas and experiences that have impacted me that I think are worth mentioning to people. But this image of a God-centred life, of lofty thoughts or worthy deeds, is more concentrated than it really is. Does the purpose of the blog justify its disproportionate goodness? Or is it vanity disguised?

4 comments:

sandra j said...

Great post! I've sent you a reply on facebook ;)

Hayley said...

just found your blog...

on the generalisation of what women struggle with... I don't like the way it catorgorises and makes women say "I sin like a man".

Lust is a problem for all of us and God hates it... whether as a man who lusts relationally or a woman who undresses men with her eyes!

...

I loved Piper's sermon - full of tough exhortations from God's word and great comfort too: How to Deal With the Guilt of Sexual Failure for the Glory of Christ and His Global Cause...

Honoria said...

Yes, we don't talk about Lust for Women much. But hey, even the chick in Song of Songs struggled!

Oh, is that the reference from Keith's sermon? Found on Desiring God website? Thanks, Hayley.

Hayley said...

Well that sermon says what keith said - it was delievered at Passion Conf 07!

Not sure if on desiringod.org - the sermon came with songs I bought off itunes.

i guess google it! it should be out there...