It was a solemn moment when my Gong Gong asked his daughter, two weeks after the event, "Did I almost die?"
"You almost died twice", came the reply. Gong Gong nods his head slowly, as a small explosion set off inside him. It's not just shocking to find out you almost fell off a cliff. It's shocking to find out you were actually standing on a cliff in the first place.
His last admission to hospital lasted 14 days (10 of which were spent intubated in ICU and involved a surgical drain of 1.2L of fluid from his pericardium). But just before to that admission, Gong Gong had gone to the hospital twice wanting treatment. Twice, the doctors turned him away because they couldn't find a cause of his symptoms. They couldn't see how close Gong Gong was to the edge of the cliff.
They had lots of trouble diagnosing him. We longed for a diagnosis. It was obvious that something was wrong, but it's terrible not knowing what that was. No diagnosis meant we were in limbo and couldn't pursue the course of treatment. The enemy is unknown.
Today, only days after being discharged, Gong Gong was readmitted to ICU with different symptoms. Doctors are still unsure what has caused his latest troubles. (Stroke? Pulmonary oedema? Decompensated heart? Malfunctioning heart valve?) Getting a diagnosis is a tricky business. The window to really fix the problem is closing and there's the unpleasant business of dealing with each new presentation. We would really appreciate some prayers.
But this post isn't really about Gong Gong, his treatment or his cardiologist, but about diagnosis.
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Imagine the worse disease ever. (Cancer? HIV/AIDS? Flesh eating bacteria?) Now imagine having that disease. What's worse than having that disease?
What's worse than having that disease is not knowing that you have that disease. No diagnosis. This means not being able to seek the right course of treatment. It's not understanding how the disease may develop. It's not knowing you need help. It's not knowing that you are about to fall off the cliff, teetering on the edge.
... I think Christians and non-Christians often have difficulty with "judgment" (here, I mean telling others about sin, about God's "capital-J Judgment" which finally condemns sin like a judge's court final pronouncements and about hell. Perhaps you have read one of the many judgment passages in the Bible, which point out how people don't live God's good way.).
Everyone sins but no one likes that pointed out to them. No one should take pleasure in saying a message of judgment to someone else. And no one enjoys being on the receiving end. It's all an unpleasant business.
But is the "judgment" a bad thing in itself? No, judgment is merely the diagnosis. It identifies the problem. This is the bad thing. Sin is the personal cancer that robs people of life. Sin is the debilitating illness and painful ailment. Sin ends in a horrible death, without fail. It's chronic and terminal. Sin is the worse problem imaginable.
Judgment is the diagnosis; it points out sin. If Christians see the sin and but do not acknowledge it, they are like doctors who withhold the diagnosis. Who sends sick people home with a clean bill of health. Who impedes treatment and healing. Who fails to warn patients of grave danger. This doctor is not only negligent, but contributes to the death of sick people. The silence is not kind but cruel.
Now, sin is the disease and judgment is the diagnosis. But the remedy is grace. In Jesus, people can have grace for free, the full strength and full spectrum remedy. It's the only remedy for sin and death. God's grace is the cure that he freely offers to people who acknowledge their sin. But...
If there is no diagnosis of disease, there is no remedy. Just death.
If there is no judgment of sin, there is no grace. Just death.
Doctors may not like breaking bad news to people. But not telling them is worse. They will miss out on the treatment they need to live.
