Monday 6 August 2007

Honoria v28.0


.
Happy birthday Hon - voila, your very own weblog!

You now have nothing stopping you from subjecting the whole world to your every idle thought / literary flight of fancy / theological rumination / whimsical whinge. [Or not - should you choose to never visit this site again.]

In the meantime... turning a year older often provides an occasion to reflect on one's life, and ask those eternal questions: "Who am I? Who is Honoria?? What does it all mean???" If this is the quandary you find yourself in, do not fear... After studiously trawling the vast stretches of the interweb I have gathered the following to gently guide you into your 29th year with renewed sense of purpose and identity.

According to this, Honoria is a Lara Croft-type figure who "stands 5’ 4” tall with blue eyes and pale golden hair pulled back in to a ponytail by several scarlet ribbons; she wears earrings pierced twice in the top of her ears on each side and carries Uther’s Strength and Ankh of Life in her pockets. ... Since her fathers death Honoria has gone through several changes; her moods seem to remain more constant than before, but her temper is still an issue though she now fills with quiet rage when it is tempted forth."

Or perhaps Honoria is more than just one person?
"This is a true story about a nation which was once great. At the outset, we will call that nation Honoria; but you will readily guess her true name, as the story unfolds..."

Perhaps you would like to check out the weather in Honoria, Peru!

In the market for a horse? Why not get yourself a Honoria thoroughbred!

Or perhaps something a little more classy...

Or maybe you feel like letting out your inner rock queen and starting your very own band?

But perhaps this regency romance lies closest to the truth...
"Honoria Spencer, the vicar's daughter, longs to escape life at the vicarage where her days are plagued by an endless round of orphans, her own siblings and Mr. Whitham, her persistent but obnoxious suitor. The delightful prospect of escape arrives in the form of a new neighbor, the romantic and extremely wealthy Mr. Carstairs. Can Honoria capture the gentleman's heart before her rival Louisa Allenby steals it from under her, or will she find there has been a dark horse in the running all along?"

Will she, indeed. I will have to let Bertie Wooster and Honoria Glossop have the last word...
Happy soul searching!

1 comment:

Honoria said...

!! P' ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!

How much fun! Makes for good a montage of quirky personalities! What's worrying is how it's alarmingly insightful!

- her moods seem to remain more constant than before, but her temper is still an issue though she now fills with quiet rage when it is tempted forth.

- The Pilgrims were stern and austere men. They believed in their God, but they also believed in work--hard, driving, determined work. They established schools, under religious leaders. These schools, in a way, were the first public, free education in the world--education such as had never been before in the old, corrupt countries.

- about 22 degrees C (Honoria's minimum temp is our maximum!)

- Honoria -> Maid of Honor -> Etiquette -> Boadicea -> Brunette -> Mayfly

- beautifully self tipped for a wonderful drape. (what a nice, context-free phrase!)

- "Eighth Honoria and the Eloquent Oil" and "Anti Of The Defective"

- will she find there has been a dark horse in the running all along?... Honoria saluted a masterful ambush by the enemy

-

HONORIA

Bertie, you've been badly neglected
You need a wife who'll correct it
The secret with men, of course, is
To treat them a bit like horses...
Did you see those lovers there?

BERTIE
No, I think they were pheasants, actually...

HONORIA
Even you could see

BERTIE
Oh, lovers! I thought you said plovers, sorry.

Thank you my wonderful Joynty friend!