This made me laugh and laugh and laugh.
Warning: contents may be offensive to vegetarians & vegans, Jews & Muslims and cardiologists.
Monday, 16 February 2009
Tuesday, 6 January 2009
Phoenix Talons & Ginseng
Warren chatted cheerfully about my sister (his colleague) and his family's migration from South Africa, as I sat numbly in the spearmint green dental chair, open mouthed, open to the possibility of a painful or good extraction. You wouldn't have guessed by his light manner, but he's the best in the biz. But still, one cheek twitch from me, one instrument slip and I'd be a goner.
My top wisdom teeth had come through straight and were even being useful. Good wizzies can stay.
However, my two lower wisdom decided to grow diagonally, steadfastly head-butting the dignified molars in front, who stayed straight. A dormant dental danger. They crowded the joynt. They posed an infection risk. They had to go.
Warren started on the left one to loosen it up, his wrist tendons in perfect tension. But they put up a fight. Teeth can't dig in their heels, so they grow little hooks at the end the root to protest against extraction. His lovely assistant sent for a special instrument from CSSD. As he waited, he went to work, gripping the right tooth driving it in a circular motion with just a little tilt...
*Crack!*
That was on purpose.
The right one had to came out in pieces because of the 3 roots, a long, thick, curved root, and two shorter roots, one with a wiley hook. I dub thee: Phoenix Talon.
I meant to say "WoW! Thanks!!" to express appreciation, but it came out sounding like "OoO! Anfh!!" because of the utensils and anesthetics in my mouth.
Warren: 1
Wizzies: 0
The left tooth lost its nerve and conceded defeat. It came one in one piece minutes after the right. Lefty also had a thick root, and two others, but the little hook on it was less gripping. It shall be known as Ginseng (pictured).
South Africa had trained Warren well, with its high HIV infection rate and its frantic working schedule. Even formidable Phoenix Talon and great Ginseng took less than an hour.
The dental nurse gushed with genuine admiration. "He makes it look so easy!! He got it out without cutting bone, even though yours were really bad!" she beamed.
And because of that, my cheeks didn't puff up any more than usual. Also, I didn't lose any sleep. Within days I came off pain-killers and was onto exam study.
Thank you, Warren!
My top wisdom teeth had come through straight and were even being useful. Good wizzies can stay.
However, my two lower wisdom decided to grow diagonally, steadfastly head-butting the dignified molars in front, who stayed straight. A dormant dental danger. They crowded the joynt. They posed an infection risk. They had to go.
Warren started on the left one to loosen it up, his wrist tendons in perfect tension. But they put up a fight. Teeth can't dig in their heels, so they grow little hooks at the end the root to protest against extraction. His lovely assistant sent for a special instrument from CSSD. As he waited, he went to work, gripping the right tooth driving it in a circular motion with just a little tilt...
*Crack!*
That was on purpose.
The right one had to came out in pieces because of the 3 roots, a long, thick, curved root, and two shorter roots, one with a wiley hook. I dub thee: Phoenix Talon.
I meant to say "WoW! Thanks!!" to express appreciation, but it came out sounding like "OoO! Anfh!!" because of the utensils and anesthetics in my mouth.
Warren: 1
Wizzies: 0
The left tooth lost its nerve and conceded defeat. It came one in one piece minutes after the right. Lefty also had a thick root, and two others, but the little hook on it was less gripping. It shall be known as Ginseng (pictured).
South Africa had trained Warren well, with its high HIV infection rate and its frantic working schedule. Even formidable Phoenix Talon and great Ginseng took less than an hour.
The dental nurse gushed with genuine admiration. "He makes it look so easy!! He got it out without cutting bone, even though yours were really bad!" she beamed.
And because of that, my cheeks didn't puff up any more than usual. Also, I didn't lose any sleep. Within days I came off pain-killers and was onto exam study.
Thank you, Warren!
Sunday, 28 December 2008
6 Things I've Learned This Year
Following Jean, here are six things I learned this year. These things are not new, really. It's just a realisation of things that are already on board. Summary: God is excellent!
- God wants us to fear him, especially when things aren't right and when you suffer.
- Grace is better than judgment and far more difficult. Fairness is right but hard; you can be completely cold-blooded in justice. Mercy and forgiveness cannot be given without love; God is its only source. Justice is good, but grace is better.
- Everyone has a streak of narcissism, the difference between people is just a matter of degrees. We are chronically and terminally me-centred.
- Sin is awful horrible disgusting, and deserving of death. And it's significant that God hates falsehood so much.
- When a fool is in sight, the right thing for people to do is to point and laugh (Proverbs 26 is pretty funny). You don't have to fret ("Oh, no! They are acting foolishly"), you don't have to chase after them or try to stop them ("Wait, stop... Fool!!!") and you definitely don't have to expose them as fools. They are fools. And they will show themselves to be fools. True Christians don't have to be weighed down by others' folly. It's God's job to judge them.
- God gives us freedom in Christ! Freedom to obey him, to do good. In sin, we are bound, only able to sin. The weird thing is, humans tend to look for rules and to abide by them, even as Christians.
- God wants us to fear him, especially when things aren't right and when you suffer.
- Grace is better than judgment and far more difficult. Fairness is right but hard; you can be completely cold-blooded in justice. Mercy and forgiveness cannot be given without love; God is its only source. Justice is good, but grace is better.
- Everyone has a streak of narcissism, the difference between people is just a matter of degrees. We are chronically and terminally me-centred.
- Sin is awful horrible disgusting, and deserving of death. And it's significant that God hates falsehood so much.
- When a fool is in sight, the right thing for people to do is to point and laugh (Proverbs 26 is pretty funny). You don't have to fret ("Oh, no! They are acting foolishly"), you don't have to chase after them or try to stop them ("Wait, stop... Fool!!!") and you definitely don't have to expose them as fools. They are fools. And they will show themselves to be fools. True Christians don't have to be weighed down by others' folly. It's God's job to judge them.
- God gives us freedom in Christ! Freedom to obey him, to do good. In sin, we are bound, only able to sin. The weird thing is, humans tend to look for rules and to abide by them, even as Christians.
Toothy Torture
On the professional recommendation of my sister, I'm getting my dormant wisdom teeth removed in January. I'm having local anesthetic. And I was ok about being conscious for it all...
Until recently.
I've been watching the first few seasons of Alias. In two torture scenes, there is a stern man of Asian extraction (pun intended), nicknamed "Suit and Glasses", with "an array of frightening instruments". His specialty is extracting information by performing root canals, creating cavities and tooth extractions without anesthetics.
"Tell me who you work for!"
Mwa haha HA HA! HA ~ hahahah !! HA HA ha aha... ha... heh... ahem.
Until recently.
I've been watching the first few seasons of Alias. In two torture scenes, there is a stern man of Asian extraction (pun intended), nicknamed "Suit and Glasses", with "an array of frightening instruments". His specialty is extracting information by performing root canals, creating cavities and tooth extractions without anesthetics.
"Tell me who you work for!"
Mwa haha HA HA! HA ~ hahahah !! HA HA ha aha... ha... heh... ahem.
Update: Taiwanese spectacle man just tortured Marshall in series two! (He tortured Sydney and Will in series one. Marhshall's one of my favorite characters.)
Tuesday, 4 November 2008
Anger at Sin
It may sound arrogant to claim to understand something of God because of human experience (especially when my motives are uniformly ungodly and un-other-person-centred). But I was really struck as I watched someone walk in foolish ways.
Sin makes you mad.
It makes you angry because of the sheer audacity of it. The defiance against God! They are walking towards darkness and have turned their back on truth. The fool closes their eyes and renounces God's ways - because they have full knowledge the act makes them all the more foolish. They justify perversion in the name of good things. The abandonment of goodness, counsel and fellowship of friends fires the temper. Embracing evil is revolting. They exchange wisdom for folly, friends for deceivers, safety for peril, wholesomeness for twistedness and the fear of the Lord for disregard. How dare you slap God in the face, who gave you wonderful blessings, opportunities and the Spirit to help you discern and choose? What have you thrown away?
All the while, pretending to be grown-up and claiming Christian virtues. It's sickening, saddening and maddening.
Isn't the Lord returning soon?
I wanted to take the foolish person across my knee and have very stern words with them, because that's an effective way of dealing with a naughty child. But since they wouldn't listen, I am giving them up to their folly.
... It's embarrassing to think that I often don't take my own sin all that seriously. Think of all the times that I've defied him and infuriated him! God takes my sin very personally. And he's got good reasons to be seriously and very angry whenever I've shoved things back in his face. I've treated God with contempt. So I'm thankful that Jesus died for me. I could never drink the cup filled with God's burning anger. Jesus, thank you for drinking my portion.
Sin makes you mad.
It makes you angry because of the sheer audacity of it. The defiance against God! They are walking towards darkness and have turned their back on truth. The fool closes their eyes and renounces God's ways - because they have full knowledge the act makes them all the more foolish. They justify perversion in the name of good things. The abandonment of goodness, counsel and fellowship of friends fires the temper. Embracing evil is revolting. They exchange wisdom for folly, friends for deceivers, safety for peril, wholesomeness for twistedness and the fear of the Lord for disregard. How dare you slap God in the face, who gave you wonderful blessings, opportunities and the Spirit to help you discern and choose? What have you thrown away?
All the while, pretending to be grown-up and claiming Christian virtues. It's sickening, saddening and maddening.
Isn't the Lord returning soon?
I wanted to take the foolish person across my knee and have very stern words with them, because that's an effective way of dealing with a naughty child. But since they wouldn't listen, I am giving them up to their folly.
... It's embarrassing to think that I often don't take my own sin all that seriously. Think of all the times that I've defied him and infuriated him! God takes my sin very personally. And he's got good reasons to be seriously and very angry whenever I've shoved things back in his face. I've treated God with contempt. So I'm thankful that Jesus died for me. I could never drink the cup filled with God's burning anger. Jesus, thank you for drinking my portion.
Perfect Match
It's common for people to choose people of similar attractiveness to them. There's a natural justice when the gorgeous marry the gorgeous, then have uber-gorgeous children. The gorgeous marrying the average, on the other hand, may evoke inferiority complexes, insecurity or perennial public scrutiny. Until the time when age levels out their attractiveness, they will catch comments in the wind, along the lines of, "How did a 5 like him hook up with an 8 like her?"
Some may have other criteria and seek their educational, social or ambitional match.
Likewise, Christians tend to go out with people of a matched spiritual maturity. Mature Christians tend to look for another. So if a girl goes out with a non-Christian or an immature, ungodly Christian, it can indicate their own Christian maturity.
It's a pretty good gauge that their faith may be pretty on par with their mate's.
Some may have other criteria and seek their educational, social or ambitional match.
Likewise, Christians tend to go out with people of a matched spiritual maturity. Mature Christians tend to look for another. So if a girl goes out with a non-Christian or an immature, ungodly Christian, it can indicate their own Christian maturity.
It's a pretty good gauge that their faith may be pretty on par with their mate's.
Saturday, 1 November 2008
A Kingdom Wedding
Photography by Esther T.Carol married Pete this morning!
There were moments of gold. Like when Pete looked at nothing but the face of his bride. And how Carol smiled excitedly the whole time, looking back at the church to take it all in and commenting to Pete. Like when the pray-er said that it's a special wedding because "it's a kingdom wedding" and "in their oneness, may they serve Christ". Like when the minister started to say the vows, "Do you take Carol..." and Pete, in eagerness, came in too early with "with God's strength I will" which made Carol burst out laughing, slapping her thigh. Everyone laughed, too. They were clearly enjoying themselves. As soon as they walked up the aisle, I broke out into a little dance. A friend said later that they felt like they ought to be dancing (perhaps everyone finds the Beatley beats of "the Ancients" irresistible).
Two impressions were made:
Death
The non-Christians' ears must clang as the word "Death" enters a wedding service. But all through the service the Christians kept talking about how their marriage was only possible because of the death of Jesus. Oh, so true. What a wonderful death, which makes people alive and able to love.
Something else deathly ~ How do you get to The Ultimate Wedding? (Read the synopsis here.) Well, first you die. And after that, you walk down as a bejewelled bride towards the eternal King, to live together in paradise. But that's only if you want to commit your life to Jesus that way. I do... If you are going to be my obituarist, please don't say, "Honoria has gone to a better place", but "Honoria is at her wedding. So don't be sad for her sake."
(I'm trying to panel beat this thought into good shape:)
Jesus dies to have a glorious marriage to his bride, the church. We follow Jesus in death so we can take part in that glorious marriage. Jesus proposes, "come die with me and come live with me".
(It's quite natural if you don't get it because you're not a Christian. I'd be happy to tell you about the joy.)
Best
How lovely and special to give your best to another human being*! Or to be honored as a recipient of someone else's best. Your best isn't to be spent on your work or your friends, but given to the one with whom you share a "oneness". The best of your affections and time, the best of your gifts and personality, of your sexuality and intimacy... Wow.
Congratulations and blessings to you, Pete & Carol!
*of course, there's no one higher than Christ. So he deserves your all and your best. I'm just talking about the first human after your devotion to Christ... y'know what I mean.
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