Mopping up the Mess

My friendship crises are mostly passed its denouement ["haw haw haw"] and into its end stage. If you'll indulge me a little longer...

Like the proverbial janitor, I'm mopping up the mess. Part of this is involves looking at the unsettling things that have floated up to the surface.

Among them were my animate idols. The revelation of some friendships was shocking. It wasn't just the friends who turned out to be parasites who let me down. The good friends who whole-hearted offered help fell short of being an adequate support. I couldn't lay my burdens on any one person. This meant that of my loving friends, I went to one for sympathy, another for practical advice, one for wisdom, another for hugs, one for reality checks, another for comic relief, etc. I'm very thankful that God's generously surrounded me with true friends who love me so deeply. But I often felt very lonely. The friendship safety net wasn't strong enough for such a fall. As excellent and godly friends as they are, I relied on them more than I should. They are only humans, limited in understanding, time and power. It's a grave mistake and unfair to expect friends to be the "you" in Psalm 139. Only God can and should provide true comfort and satisfaction.

Another ugly thing that surfaced was my reaction. When I feel like a victim, I pretend that it's excuseable to do ungodly things: slander, whinge, be embittered, wallow in self-pity, love justice more than mercy, withhold forgiveness, be judge. "Vengeance is mine, I will repay", thus sayeth Honoria.

Trials show up what (still) needs to go. Oh, that God would take every thought captive (a la 2 Cor 10:5)!